


My Corona

by Hobnob69



Category: RuPaul's Drag Race RPF
Genre: Aiden Zhane is a closeted ghost, COVID-19, Coronavirus, Crystal deals meth, F/F, Gigi is a bastard and has long limbs, Jaida is a politician, Jan plays for liverpool, Nicky is half Scottish half English and half french, coronafic, crackfic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-09
Updated: 2020-04-09
Packaged: 2021-03-01 20:48:47
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 4,996
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23563321
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Hobnob69/pseuds/Hobnob69
Summary: Nicky Doll has moved back to England because her mum is proper sick, and when she bumps into her childhood friend Gigi Goode, will she be able to find the cure for Coronavirus and save her mother? Read to find out because I’m not telling you.
Relationships: Crystal Methyd/Nicky Doll, Gigi Goode/Crystal Methyd, Gigi Goode/Nicky Doll, Heidi N’ Closet/Nicky Doll, Jaida Essence Hall/Crystal Methyd, Jan Sport/Nicky Doll
Comments: 24
Kudos: 63





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I’ve been to France once, but it was a bit shit. I ran out of cheese for my baguette and I didn’t have any euros on me so I couldn’t buy any more. It was a very disappointing experience because frankly who wants a baguette without cheese.
> 
> Anyway enjoy.

It was a bitchin summers morning in England, and Nicky doll was sat on a curb as she munched into her Cornish pastie. It wasn’t a croissant, but it was close enough. 

She was in the country visiting her mum who was half French half Scottish and half English. Her mum insisted she came home whilst coronavirus was fucking shit up and Nicky had agreed, on the condition she could mispronounce words and laugh at Boris Johnson (sorry this joke was written before he got sick sorry.)

Whilst Nicky was straight up chilling, her best mate in the world Gigi Goode walked up to her and slapped the Cornish pastie right out of her hand as a laugh.

“Haha serves you right shit cunt.” She said in rapturous glee before spraying an entire bottle of perfume on herself. She was tall, like a giraffe, and had brown eyes, like a giraffe. “Why are you here.”

“My mum made me jmapelle cóme home because of coronavirus 19.” Nicky said sadly, taking a puff of her inhaler because of all the fumes in the air. “And I needed a pastry so my blood sugar levels wouldn’t drop.”

“Did I fucking ask.” Gigi nodded, taking a seat next to her best mate. This was no easy feat because of her giraffe legs. She got out a pack of ciggies and lit one the wrong way round. “You know, my drug dealer mate crystal meth came up with a cure for corona 19.”

Nicky gasped. Could it be? A cure for one of the nations most horrible diseases? At this point it had wiped out almost 70% of Britain so this was a pretty big deal. She took another puff of her inhaler.

“Let’s go see hêr then.” The french Scottish English girl said standing up. “My mum has corona, it is very how you say important we get the cure. My mum is dying Gigi.”

Nicky was sobbing now. God was cruel and unforgiving. Truly the only person she could rely on was herself and maybe Barry from down the road who washed her car sometimes.

“Want to make out first?” Gigi asked, doing a sick backflip out of nowhere. It was pretty rad.

“No. My mum is dying.” Nicky laughed shaking her head. Classic Gigi. She was always asking to make out, it was one of her character quirks.

The pair hopped on their bicycles that were far too small for them. They were headed towards the shady part of town where all the secondary school kids hung out and smoked crack. 

“Here, she’s in that alley selling meth to a four year old.” Gigi pointed a long finger towards a shady alleyway. “Want to make out now?” 

“Thank you for taking me here.” She said politely, flipping Gigi off because at the end of the day her friend was a bit of a cunt. A 7ft cunt.

“Whatever.” Gigi said cycling away, kicking over some secondary schoolers with her giraffe limbs in the process. Classic Gigi.

She walked into the alley and was met with a woman in her thirties that looked like she hadn’t slept in ten days. Her makeup was that of a clowns and she had a large trench coat on, most likely full of meth. 

“Hello traveler.” She began in a jovial voice, skipping from side to side like a court jester. “Riddle me this, riddle me that, do you want to buy some crack?”

“No” Nicky said frenchly. She wasn’t really one for crack, it made her asthma flare up. “I’m here because I heard you have the cure for Coronavid-19.”

“Ah...I see” Crystal said in a hushed voice, leaning towards the blonde girl. For a moment Nicky thought she was about to be sexually harassed. “If a cure for corona is what you seek, with Heidi the closet you must speak. But this is all that I can say, so now you must be on your way.”

“Pardone moi.” Nicky said, confused at what the clown drug woman was saying in her cryptic tongue. The jesters hat didn’t help either, it was very loud and jingly .

“Find Heidi the’ closet, she works at tesco.” Crystal repeated, producing a knife from one of her many meth pockets. “Now piss off before I shank you up.”

Nicky left, scratching her womanly face in contemplation. Did this ‘Heidi the’ closet’ really have the cure for cornova-virus 19? Probably not, after all she got her information from a drug addled clown who couldn’t afford shoes.

Hopping back on her bike, she cycled up to tescos. Tescos was the hotspot for all the local youths. It was where they could buy Pokémon cards and weed behind the bike-shed from big Dave the homeschooled kid.

Just before she could get off her bike a familiar face walked up to her, and pushed her over onto the concrete floor. 

“Hey shitcunt.” Gigi said, laughing at her friend writhing around on the floor. “Did you get the cure for corona?”

“Non...” Nicky said sadly, wiping some of the blood off her knees. “I am looking for a ‘Heidi the Closet’”

“I know her, she works in the closet section of tescos.” Gigi nodded, lighting up a cigarette the wrong way round again. Her friend was a fucking dumbass. 

Nicky looked surprised. Could it be that the legends were true? Tescos having a closet section was a myth parents told their kids to instil some magic into their lives. Like Santa Claus or the tooth fairy. But was it real?

“Jan here will show you how to get there. She plays for Liverpool.”

Nicky looked over to a girl who had been standing there the entire time. She was carrying three footballs and was wearing a Liverpool shirt. She looked a little homeless, but then again, most football players did. 

Jan reached out for a handshake, but Nicky slapped it away. She didn’t want to get any of her dirty footballer germs. After all, there was a pandemic going on. They began to walk inside leaving Gigi with her backwards cigarette.

“I must warn you” Jan began, as they both mounted the escalator. She still had three footballs in her hands. “This is no easy quest. We must venture all the way over to the wines and spirits section. Are you still up for it?”

Nicky nodded. After all, her mum was dying. The woman that birthed her. The woman that popped her out exactly twenty years ago to the day. Also today was her birthday and nobody remembered. 

The walk to the closet isle had been a long and arduous one. Nicky had managed to go through five inhalers and a bottle of aspirin. Still, they had made it, and Gigi’s words of encouragement floated through Nicky’s head.

‘ _you’re a shit cunt.’_

Gigi was right, Nicky could find the cure! even if it killed her. Eventually they found themselves surrounded by closets, and jan put her footballs down.

“You need to knock on this closet three times, then answer her riddle, are you ready?” Jan asked sportily, doing Keepie uppies with one of her footballs. 

Nicky nodded before tentatively knocking the wooden door three times with her French hands. She began to sweat from the anticipation and her sinuses flared up.

“Who dares interrupt Heidi the closet!” A voice boomed, shaking the closet to its very core. Nicky quaked in her designer boots. Jan sort of just stood there, checking her phone for BBC sports updates.

“I’m jmapēlle Nicky. And I need the cure for corona. You see my mum is sick. She won’t stop coughing.”

“Ah” Heidi the closet said, nodding it’s non-existent head. “A worthy cause, now answer me this.”

“Yes, anything.” Nicky said, getting on her knees and begging like she’d never begged before. She hadn’t begged this hard since she started as orphan no.4 in Oliver Twist. “Anything please.”

There was a small pause before the closet spoke again.

“What’s up doc.”

Holy shit. The person inside the closet was Gigi Goode all along!

“Haha I got you shit cunt. You stupid piece of shit lmaoo.” Gigi laughed, getting out the closet and rolling around on the floor in glee. Jan joined in, roaring with laughter and slapping her knee before going back on to BBC sport to check if Manchester United had scored.

“So, there is no cure for Coronavirus?” Nicky sobbed French tears, planting her face in her hands. “What kind of sick god would how you say allow thïs.” 

“Just call me Gigi bad haha. Yes your mum is going to die. There is no cure.”

“She got you good haha.” Crystal joined in, hopping out of a closet she had been hiding in. “I’m not really a drug dealer, I’m an arts history major. This was all an elaborate prank.”

“And your mum isn’t sick, we just infected her with influenza.” Jan added.

Nicky laughed. What a fun prank! she hugged Gigi and rang her mother to tell her the good news. Her mother just coughed a bit before hanging up because countdown was on the telly.

“I love you Nicky.” Gigi said to her friend, holding her hand in a friendly way, much like two friends would do.

“Oui, you are my best friend too Gigi.” Nicky laughed friendlyly putting a friendship bracelet on Gigi’s lanky wrist.

“No you fucking idiot I said I love you.”

“Yes, our friendship is truly unbreakable. As they say in France, oh mon dieu me tue. ma mère se meurt oh mon dieu. la douleur. la douleur.”

“Shit cunt.”

The two rode down the tescos escalator holding hands (with gloves on, we’re going through a pandemic) with the sunset behind them. Coronavirus May of still been wiping out the population, but Nicky didn’t care. All she knew was friendship was truly magic.

‘ _Moon river, wider than a mile_  
_I'm crossing you in style some day_  
_Oh, dream maker, you heart breaker_  
_Wherever you're goin', I'm goin' your way’_  
-Bon jovi- 1976


	2. New beginnings, old faces, gay women.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Crystal has been dealing meth all her life, but what will happen when she has to deal with love? This story includes twists, turns, and lots of heart :)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter takes place during the first one. Special thanks to my mum for proof reading this. You told me when I accidentally put capital letters at the start of sentences. You were always the smart one in the family, right next to uncle Tony who set up our family computer.

It had been a long day of selling meth for Crystal, but by god did she love her job. Just seeing the happy faces of all the schoolchildren she sold to was something she wouldn’t trade for anything. Except maybe more meth.

She stepped out of her workplace (an alleyway behind Lidl’s) and counted out her pound coins. She’d made at least 50 quid which wasn’t too bad to be honest. She would be able to buy five scratch cards and a pack of fags so it had been a fairly successful day.

Just as she was about to go to the corner shop a friendly face stopped her. By god, it was Nicky doll! She was saying something about needing the cure for Coronavirus but she couldn’t be sure because Crystal had taken enough coke to kill about ten men and a large bird.

Coronavirus was shit, but since meth dealers were considered essential workers Crystal hadn’t lost her job much to her relief.

Remembering the plan, she said some bullshit about going to see a closet in tesco just like Gigi had asked her to. Something to do with tricking Nicky into thinking her mum was going to die which sounded hilarious so of course she accepted. Plus Gigi offered to give her a quick handjob behind the bike shed if she went along with the elaborate prank. It was a shit handjob, but it was the most action Crystal had seen since Woodstock.

Nicky, being French, had no idea what Crystal was saying. Or maybe it’s because Crystal was slurring her words and speaking in riddles. Meth was one hell of a drug. In the end she just whipped out a knife and told the French cunt to go to tesco. Like most she’d always had a deep hatred for the French and she needed her lotto scratch cards soon or she’d go apeshit.

Once the French girl walked away europeanly, Crystal let out a goblins chuckle as she made her way over to the corner store, her bare feet slapping against the hot tarmac and her jesters hat jingling in the warm summer breeze. Crystal couldn’t afford niceties like shoes and deodorant, but she made do.

“Hey big Dave.” Crystal greeted the shop owner as she entered, flashing him a yellow meth grin. Big Dave was a lovely man. He kept the prices of his freddo frogs low, and never tried anything funny with the school kids. No diddling whatsoever. A real class act.

“Hello crystal! How’s my favourite customer?” He said in a jolly tone whilst shorting an old lady on her change. “Have you heard about this whole Coronavirus nonsense?”

“Sure have Dave.” Crystal nodded making her way over to the counter, stopping only to steal from the children in need charity bucket. “It’s going to affect meth sales!”

“It’s all the immigrants coming into this country” Dave nodded. Crystal had forgotten he had a tendency to be a bit racist. Wasn’t one of his best qualities. That and he liked to throw rocks at old people’s homes sometimes.

“Oh Dave, you racist bastard.” She chuckled, sliding him a 50 individual pound coins. “Get me the usual or I’ll shank you up.”

Dave nodded and went behind the counter to get her sterling dual double capsule cigarettes and lotto cards. Just then she saw someone out the corner of her eye. There was a stunning woman in the pick n mix isle filling a bag with liquorice allsorts and chocolate raisins. Impeccable taste, obviously a woman of culture.

Crystal had to know her name. She simply had to. She was the most incredible woman she’d ever laid eyes upon. Well, only one of her eyes was working. She’d lost her other one to the crackhead that lived in the McDonald’s dumpster whilst fighting over a 99p cheeseburger.

“You there!” Crystal screamed, pointing a manicured goblin finger at the woman. “What is your name?”

“Jaida essence hall” She said, still all the way at the other side of the shop. She sort of stood there awkwardly popping a chocolate raisin in her mouth. “Do I know you.”

No fucking way. Crystal thought she recognised the woman. Jaida was running for prime minister! She just about shat her pants in excitement. Here she was in the presence of a politician. Usually she would of spat on a politician but this one wasn’t a conservative so she made an exception.

Crystal jogged over to future prime-minister Jaida before stopping in front of her, wheezing and sweating from the small run. Crack cocaine had really taken a toll on her respiratory system so she had lots of lung goo which made it hard for her to breathe.

“I’ve seen you on the telly. You’re beautiful, stunning even. Your mind just amazes me. Your political views are rambunctious. It would be an honour to buy you a pack of skittles. That is if you would let me.”

That’s what Crystal meant to say, but really she was just wheezing and coughing between pointing at a pack of skittles. She even threw up a bit but it was mostly water since she hadn’t had a solid meal in about a week.

“Yeah I’ll sign your tits. Who should I make it out to?” Jaida said eloquently basking in the warm light of the convenience store as if she were an angel sent straight down from heaven. Truly magnificent.

Crystal shook her head. It was a kind offer, but no. She didn’t want her tits signed, she wanted to marry Jaida. By god, she wanted to take her hand in marriage.

She could already picture their little cottage in Yorkshire raising their half politician half meth babies together. They would be called slippy bob and binbag. They would be beautiful, like jaida, and addicted to meth, like Crystal. 

“Do you want to go to Pizza Hut with me.” Crystal managed to wheeze out, getting down on one knee. Not romantically or anything but because her arthritis was playing up.

Jaida wept, tears of joy. She nodded between sobs. “Ok please just don’t stab me.”

The two left the shop, stopping only to give big Dave a wave goodbye. As they walked to Pizza Hut Crystal really hoped that jaida would be paying for the pizza because she’d just spent all her money on fags and scratch cards.

“Are you loaded.” Crystal said romantically, intertwining her fingers with the other woman’s.

“I’m a politician. Of course I’m loaded.” Jaida responded, slapping her hand away and putting on some hand sanitizer. “Are you loaded?”

“Yes.” Crystal lied as they made their way inside Pizza Hut. Pizza huts were considered essential businesses so it wasn’t shut (I headcannon that pizza huts are essential businesses.) 

As the lesbians entered the fine establishment they were greeted by a friendly face. It was Aiden zhane! The Local pale woman that lived in the old haunted shack just down the road! She was an employee at Pizza Hut. (I headcannon Aiden zhane works at Pizza Hut.)

“Your finest table please.” Crystal said, sliding Aiden a one pound coin as a bribe. “Only the best for my new wife.”

“OoooOoo! Right this way.” Aiden said spookily, leading the pair to their table. Only Aiden wasn’t walking, she was sort of floating around like a spooky spectre. Classic Aiden.

As the pair sat down Crystal got a really good look at the woman she had fallen in love with. Her eyes were as brown as bowl of soup, and her hair was as black as a really dark room that you would find it hard to see in until your eyes adjusted to the darkness and you could see a little bit better. Beautiful.

She sat politely, still eating her pick nd mix and perusing the menu in an eloquent way, much like a politician would.

“May I recommend the stuffed crust pepperoni pizza? It’s simply...Devine” Crystal said putting on her best airs whilst filling in the children’s play mat with her complimentary crayons.

Jaida nodded and spoke to Crystal like you’d speak to the special needs kid from down the road.

“This is a really good seat. We’re close to the buffet table.” Jaida admitted, her mouth full of liquorice all sorts. “What’s your name again?”

“Crystal Methyd.”

“That’s unfortunate.” Jaida said giving her condolences. “I am very sorry.”

Crystal sort of shrugged with her one good shoulder before popping a crayon into her mouth. She came from a long line of crackheads, so she carried her family name with pride.

“Listen it’s part of my campaign to talk to the homeless, so can I snap a quick publicity picture with you.”

We’re crystals ears deceiving her? Jaida essence Hall world famous politician wanted to snap a picture with her? Fucking shit Bitch tits this was the best goddamn moment of her entire life, and she’d had a pretty good life all in all. Apart from all the drug bits. 

“It would be my honour.” She said getting down on one knee next to Jaida, kissing her hand softly. “Truly an honour.”

Just then, Aiden appeared out of nowhere with a camera. She fiddled around with the buttons for a bit before holding it up to the pair.

“OoooooOooOoheard you needed a picture. Say cheese!”

“Cheese.” Crystal said.

“Cheese.” Jaida said, but it came out as more of a gargled scream followed by scared sobbing because Aiden had given her a bit of a scare. Crystal and Aiden laughed heartily.

Once the Polaroid was taken, Aiden put two pizzas on the table and floated away. Jaida picked up the photo and smiled, putting it in the front of her blazer pocket to treasure forever. Or maybe just to put up on her campaign website. 

“Listen, while I’m still down on one knee...” Crystal began shyly, blushing like a nonce at a playpark. “I have a huge question to ask.”

“What.” Jaida said between mouthfuls of stuffed crust pepperoni pizza. 

“Will you...marry me?”

The entirety of Pizza Hut stood up and clapped. She’d done it. She’d finally popped the question to the love of her life. She waited with baited breath for her lovers response. 

Jaida shifted around in her chair uncomfortably for a bit before she spoke up.

“Look over there!” She said, pointing. The whole room looked over there quizzically, including Crystal who simply had to know what was over there. A dragon perhaps? She hoped it would be a dragon. She looked for a dragon.

After ten minutes of looking for a dragon Crystal gave up and turned back to Jaida, except she had left and taken the pizzas too. Fucking typical. Love em and leave em.

“I’m sorry Crystal.” Aiden said, patting her friend on the shoulder. “Love truly is the cruelest of all follies. Back in 1906 my girlfriend left me for a milkman. I know how you feel.”

Crystal just sighed and nodded. At the end of the day, Jaida would just be another one that got away. Normally she’d hunt her lovers down and stalk them in alleyways to freak them out a bit but she was just too heartbroken.

“It’s okay Pizza Hut employee Aiden Zhane, I think she just needed to...fly free. If you love someone enough you let go.”

“Oh, I wouldn’t know about flying, I’m a human woman.” Aiden said in a ghostly way. “Here, have some complimentary jalapeño poppers.”

After Crystal had eaten her free food she left the restaurant feeling a bittersweet anguish she hadn’t felt since the last time she’d ran out of meth. Her only solace was that Jaida could go on to be prime minister, and maybe, just maybe, jaida would think of her from time to time.

She would never forget the ten minutes they spent together. As she sat on a park bench and watched the sun set she smiled to herself letting the warm summer air wash over her. 

Goodbye Jaida. Goodbye...

Then she got up, remembering she was meant to be at tescos to prank Nicky. Once she got to tescos she was greeted by Gigi Goode, who was outside smoking a fag the wrong way round. Fucking bellend. Nobody liked Gigi but they tolerated her because she could reach things off really high shelves.

“You don’t look good.” Gigi said, laughing at her friend. “What’s wrong.”

“I met the love of my life today Gigi. I met the love of my life and she looked at me like I was a real human being. She didn’t see me as a homeless methhead, she saw me like a person. A person like you, or a person like jan. Maybe not a person like Nicky because she’s french but a person. And now, I’ll never see her again.”

“Oh shit you’re gay? Haha homo. Alright let’s go inside Nicky’s just about to find out there’s no cure for Coronavirus and her mums going to die.”

The pair made their way into tescos and in that moment, Crystal understood. True love only comes around once in a while, but meth is forever.

And in that moment, she was content.

Fin.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter Aiden comes out as a ghost and goes to a ghost pride parade. It’s a lot like gay pride, but everyone is sort of floating around.


	3. My Corona: A Halloween special

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Aiden wants to come out as a ghost, but how will her countless fans react? Shocked? Horny? That’s up to interpretation because I never actually wrote that far. Whatever just enjoy the haloween special.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Last year at haloween I knocked on my aunty Dorris’s door and when she opened the door I asked her trick or treat. She said trick so I committed tax fraud and now I’m writing this from jail. Can one of u post bail I know u bitches got money, I just know it.

Aiden Zhane woke from her ghostly slumber with a loud yawn. Today was the day. She’d finally tell all her friends and family she was in fact a ghoul, and needless to say she was bricking her pants.

How would everyone react? Would they call the ghostbusters on her? Would they no longer accept her senior citizens card at Tescos? Her mind raced with possibilities.

Regardless, this was something she had to tell everyone. She just had to. It was such a massive part of her life and people deserved to know the truth. Damn the consequences!

Just then she heard her scary ringtone go off (Addams family theme tune). checking her phone she saw Sharon needles was calling her, a fellow ghost who was a bit racist so she didn’t like to talk to her much.

“Hello0ooo0” Aiden said as she answered her phone. What could she possibly want this early in the morning? It was 1am for Christ’s sake!

“Today’s the day Aiden. There’s a ghost pride parade going on in east London. This is your chance.”

A ghost pride parade? Sounded a bit shit to be perfectly honest. Plus east London was full of people with knifes. She rubbed her weary jet black eyes with her bony fingers.

“That sounds like shit Sharon. I’d rather catch the plague again.” She said getting out of her coffin and petting her dead cat. It wasn’t a ghost cat or anything, it was just a dead cat she found in a dumpster.

“You have to. This is the perfect chance to let everyone know you’re actually a-“

“Yeah alright see you later.” Aiden said hanging up on the racist and coughing up a bit of ectoplasm. 

Aiden had died in 1846 when a particularly bad case of influenza had taken her life, but came back because she had unfinished business. That business being she’s started a new Lego model, and hadn’t had the chance to finish it. 

Going on drag race had just been an elaborate ploy to normalise ghosts on the telly. Unfortunately she never got to tell anyone because rupaul kept giving Gigi Goode screentime. Fucking asshat.

Maybe the ghost pride parade wasn’t such a bad idea after all. It could be the perfect opportunity to come out as the ghost she knew she was.

Aiden started devising a plan. She’d need emotional support in case rupaul showed up and showed her a picture of her younger self. Suddenly she remembered the group chat she’d made on snapchat one night whilst she was high on construction glue. Tentatively she wrote a message.

Aiden: Who wants to come to ghost pride parade today

Jaida: I think I’d rather catch the plague again frankly

Chrystal: 2 buzyy doing meth 🤪🤪

Gigi: I cant my ass is too fat to fit out my doorway

Brita: that’s not fucking true is it you’re ass is about as big as the malnourished rat that lives in my cupboard

Nicky: who else has covid I’ve had it for five months now

Chrystal: aaeoooogtttgeh sorry just had a stroke.

Aiden: I can’t believe this. I just bared my ghost heart and ghost soul to you people and this is how you respond? Fucking ridiculous I’ll go by myself. Hope you all stub your toes 🖕

Gigi: Now now, lets not be hasty

Gigi: My ass isn’t that flat

Aiden slammed her phone down. She truly could not rely on anyone. With her heart in her throat she made her way outside, ready to brave the ghost pride parade all by herself. Would this be the beginning of the rest of her life?

Before she could hop on the 10:48 bus three mean tough n’ rough looking bullies punched her in her corporeal ghost tits.

By god! It was rolaskatox! Three of the most well known ghost-homophobes! And boy did they look pissed...

“Heard you were going to come out as a ghost.” Alaska hissed in parseltounge, rolling her r’s much like a snake woman would.

“Yeah! And we don’ts take kindly to ghosts around these parts, ya dig?” Roxxy said menachingly, a good distance away because bus stops weren’t her favourite place in the world on account of loosing her credit card there once.

“P-p-p-p-p-p-p-please just let me on the bus, I don’t want any trouble Alaska roxxy and detox.”

“Were going to teach you a lesson you’ll never forget ya filthy apparition...” They all collectively said, circling in on a very shaky Aiden Zhane. She couldn’t take any actual damage on account of being dead, but confrontation made her social anxiety flare up.

Just then Sharon needles manifested out of thin air with a knife! Aiden sighed. She really didn’t want to be associated with the racist ghost, on account of all the racism. She looked at her phone uncomfortably and played some cookie clicker.

“Don’t worry Aiden, I’m here to save you. Please, stand back, this may get messy...” Sharon growled flashing her vampire fangs, her eyes glowing a deep magenta with tears of blood rolling down her pale werewolf cheeks.

“No please don’t.” Aiden said, now opening a snapchat from crystal asking her to take her to the hospital which was frankly, not going to happen.

Before Aiden could say Patricia Quinn, Sharon lashed out with the fury of a thousand nazis, slaying them where they stood. Aiden frowned and watched roxxy Alaska and detox bleed out on the floor, haemorrhaging from their knee caps.

Just as she was about to tell Sharon to go home, the ghosts of rolaskatox appeared all spookily from behind a nearby dumpster, floating over and making ghost noises. The three looked down at their dead bodies and sobbed.

“Aw, whack.” Detox wailed.

“Bogus.” Alaska hissed.

“Anyone ever notice how flat Gigi goode’s ass is.” Roxxxy cried.

Aiden couldn’t bear to see three troubled ghosts in a crisis. Suddenly an idea sprung to mind. An idea that just might work...

“Let’s all go to ghost pride parade. Not you though Sharon fuck you.”

Rolaskatox shrugged and got on the bus, seemingly ok with this idea. Just like that they were on their way to show the world their true colours. Show the world exactly what they could be. 

Crystal methyd got on the bus too. She’d just died of a meth overdose and was now a liberal arts ghoul. She gave Aiden a thumbs up before sitting down and shooting up some ghost meth, saying something about old habits dying hard or some shit like that.

The five ladies held ghost hands, and gave each other warm smiles, content with the situation they’d found themselves in.

This truly would be the beginning...of the rest of their afterlives.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy Halloween

**Author's Note:**

> In chapter two rupaul gets corona.


End file.
